These Hands

If these hands could talk.

They’ve held onto hands, lovingly, yet tight, to pick up my weight and swing me back and forth. With the heart of a wide eyed child, without a care of what’s to come, just the happiness of the now.

They’ve held the backpack straps of a first time schooler. A little sweaty that day with nerves of a new place, new smells, new faces.

These hands have held old weathered, fragile cancer ridden hands. Hands that looked much older than they were. Hands that held my heart from birth. Hands I could hold in mine, kiss them softly and whisper, “goodbye.”

These hands have picked flowers, thrown softballs, painted pictures and told stories.

They’ve caught me when I’ve fallen. I fall often with lack of balance whether from mind, body or overwhelming emotion.

These hands have learned to make beautiful music with a strum of a guitar. They’ve written songs to bypass therapy; to pour out emotion, from small to life altering.

These hands have told jokes as often as they’ve grabbed onto a loved one, held them close and let them know it’s all gonna be all right.

But, these hands have felt scared. They’ve felt worthless. They’ve been overtaken by anxiety, manipulation, depression and PTSD. They’ve been told their feelings weren’t valid. They’ve been laughed at with a Joker-type cackle.

They couldn’t take any more.

They beat the shit out of a wooden door. All on their own. Each punch causing another cut, another wound, another scar. Blood dripping. Pain just to feel…something. Pain to feel alive again.

These hands have wiped my tears. They bandaged up their wounds.

They’ve read books. Lots of books. To heal pieces inside they thought would stay bleeding forever.

These hands picked up the pieces of my broken heart, soul and body and put them back together.

They’ve taken so many steps forward and a few steps back.

These hands have made amends. With those caught in the crossfire of a battle they couldn’t control.

These hands have reached out to help others like they once were.

They helped someone not hurt themselves when it all felt like too much.

These hands have taken action. They’ve started a company. They’re ready to give back.

If these hands could talk, they’d tell you life is only giving you what it knows you can handle. You can get through anything.

And together, we’ve got this.

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