Hi, my name is Marissa and I’m a recovering “People Pleaser.”
I’m someone who would very much bend over backwards for just about anyone. You needed me, you had me. I barely know you? Eh, whatever. I see the good in everyone. There’s no way you’re gonna take advantage of me…right?…right?
Insert eye roll here.
You know what began to happen? I found myself constantly busy, completely being taken advantage of (even if unintentionally on the other parties end) and taking on everyone’s personal stress like it was my own.
I was worn out.
Part of that is how I feed off of everyone else and their energy, the other part was just everything else. It’s A LOT.
When I look back, I realize that my constant want to please was sort of an endorphin rush. Similar to what Taylor Swift described with people clapping for her as a way of being accepted in her new documentary, “Miss Americana,” on Netflix. You look at the accomplishment or the thanks as a way of people approving of you or liking you.
But, what I’ve learned and now accept is that people are supposed to like me for me, not what I can do for them. I had to switch my way of thinking and reacting to the situations put in front of me.
I had to learn it was okay to say, “No.”
“No,” I can’t always help someone move.
“No” I can’t let anyone borrow money or things.
“No” I can’t listen to this conversation that’s causing my anxiety to get worked up.
“No” I shouldn’t always buy something just cause it made me think of someone, I’m not made of money.
Sure, these are nice things to do and I haven’t 100% stopped helping people, I’ve just become more aware of what help I can actually provide.
Are you currently a People Pleaser? Do you think it’s making you a happier person or do you find yourself stressed from the situations it presents? It’s worth reevaluating for your own mental health and how each situation can take it’s toll.